Hot Topics: MLB NFL NBA baseball New York Yankees steroids ESPN Chicago Cubs Boston Red Sox NCAA football

Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

Yankees to hold spring training in Baghdad

NEW YORK, NY — Citing a lack of conditioning and mental toughness as a root cause of their annual playoff failures, New York Yankees management has announced that this year, spring training will be held in Baghdad.

“We gotta get tough,” said new Yankeees president Hank Steinbrenner. “Last year, we lost a crucial game because Joba Chamberlain can’t deal with gnats. And that was it. Well, this year, we are going to prepare for that.”

Steinbrenner said the team will hold batting practice on a battlefield and will shag flies near the Green zone. “We don’t want to get anyone not named Carl Pavano killed,” Steinbrenner said. “All we want is that our players are a little better conditioned and ready for the season when it kicks off.”

The military-style conditioning will begin promptly every day at 0430, when the infielders will sweep the green zone for improvised explosive devices (IEDs) and the pitching staff will unload Blackhawk helicopters laden with supplies.

“Doesn’t sound very fun to me,” said Yankees captain Derek Jeter. “Normally during spring training, I nail a bunch of college-aged, would-be models, play some catch, and work on my tan. Now you’re telling me that I can’t play any catch? Unsubscribe.”

Alex Rodriguez is not even sure that he’s going to participate.

“Look, this is basically being a part of the U.S. military, right?” A-Rod asked. “Well, guess what? I’m rich. And if there’s one thing I know about being in the American military, it’s that if you’re rich, you don’t have to go. Shelly Duncan can take my place.”

SSNN could not confirm a rumor that every Yankee player will also be forced to cut his hair like Joe Girardi.

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: Baghdad, Carl Pavano, Derek Jeter, Hank Steinbrenner, Iraq, Joba Chamberlain, Joe Girardi, MLB, New York Yankees, Shelly Duncan, spring training

Posted on February 13th, 2008

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

Yanks break gajillion mark (April 22, 2007)
Green encouraged by Crystal, plans to try out at fullback (March 21, 2008)
Cards aim for shutdown of Jupiter alcohol sales (February 20, 2008)
New “glass-is-half-full” Steinbrenner repents, extends Torre (October 25, 2007)

Link To This Post

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Search Our Site

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Check Out These Classics

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

News In Brief

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!