Shaq to provide Maricopa Marauders huge boost in pickup league

PHOENIX, AZ — The Maricopa County Marauders, a struggling team in the Arizona Sheriff’s Deputies Pickup Basketball League (ASDPBL), got a huge boost this week when they traded for 7′1″, 325-lb deputy sheriff Shaquille O’Neal from the Miami-Dade Demon Dogs.

“We’re pretty stoked to add Shaquille to our mix,” said Jonathan Mamon, 27, who played collegiate basketball at Division III University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, and is the leading scorer in the ASDPBL. “I mean, he’s getting a little older in years – normally we like to keep our guys in their 20s or early 30s at the worst – but I think he’s going to have an impact in this league.”

The Maricopa County Marauders have struggled to a 4-7 record this season. They have been worked over twice by the team from Tucson, and they lost an early season game against Clark County by forfeit, who had traveled all the way to Phoenix to play them.

O’Neal, on the other hand, was having a strong season for the Demon Dogs. He was averaging 14.1 points per game, and 7.4 rebounds – both figures good enough for second on the team. Two years ago, he was an instrumental figure as the Demon Dogs captured the Florida League Championship.

The Marauders hope to have Shaq available by this weekend. “I know he travels a lot for work,” said Mamon. “So we’re hoping that he cuts that down a little bit, you know, so he can be available for our games.”

O’Neal is expected to be a strong contributor to the Marauders. He’s not expected to start right away – after all, he’s battling some injuries – but he is expected to be the first big off the bench.

“They play half-court, which is kind of my specialty,” O’Neal said. “I mean, some teams love to run up and down the court, they love to shoot and pass and really make things happen. That’s not for me. I should never ever be on a team like that. The ideal situation for me is to be on a team where I never have to sprint for more than 20 feet. And I think that’s what I’ll find in Phoenix.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!