Saban compares signing day to September 11

TUSCALOOSA, AL — Alabama Crimson Tide head football coach Nick Saban was visibly excited about his inaugural recruiting class at a press conference following national signing day. So excited, in fact, that the words he chose to describe the fruits of his labor will surely continue to draw criticism long after his prized recruits’ playing days are over.

Just hours after Saban landed what many recruiting specialists designated as the deepest and most talented group of high school players in the country, one of college football’s most outspoken characters more than lived up to his reputation.

“I am so proud of myself and my staff – but mostly myself – for the hard work that we have put in for so long in assembling this class,” Saban told reporters. “The impact of this recruiting class will turn heads and create ripples through our nation’s history, the likes of which hasn’t been felt since September 11.”

Saban may have realized that he took his analogy a bit too far on his own, or perhaps it was the horrified looks on the faces of every reporter present; either way, he attempted to qualify his insensitive remarks.

“Hey, I am in no way desecrating the historical significance of that fateful day,” Saban explained. “I am simply trying to find an appropriate way to bring home how good of a recruiter and coach I really am. I deserve a Nobel Prize for recruiting, or something like that. The University of Alabama is now home to the best college football players this world has ever seen, and I just want everyone to know that. I just hope Michigan State, LSU and the Miami Dolphins realize what sort of recruiting and coaching legend they let get away, even though I chose to leave each one of those positions of my own volition.”

This latest incident marks the second time Saban has used the most infamous date in America’s history in relation to his team. Following an inexplicable 21-14 home loss to Division 1-AA Louisiana-Monroe on Nov. 17, Saban implied his team needed to show the same resiliency and unity that the our nation’s citizens displayed following such “catastrophic events” as 9/11 and Pearl Harbor.

When asked to predict his recruiting class’ effectiveness over the next four years, Saban pulled out yet another historical reference, though not specifically related to the United States.

“When this class reaches its collective potential, I can see this group marching right through SEC opponents… Much like Nazi stormtroopers ravaged and dominated the Polish countryside in World War II.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!