Phillies’ fans, players still devastated by Geary trade

CLEARWATER, FL — Angered by an early off-season trade, many Phillies fans are considering boycotting the team’s spring training in sunny Clearwater, Fla.

“No way I can go down there and support the team after this mockery of a trade,” said Rocco Dimello, 24, a Phillies fan from South Philadelphia. “There’s just no way.”

The trade that Dimello refers to is, of course, the blockbuster deal that sent reliever Geoff Geary to the Houston Astros for Brad Lidge and Eric Bruntlett in early November. Geary was a fan favorite while playing with the Phillies, and few will ever forget the sterling 13-4 record over he compiled over his three-year career with the team.

Hines Ticklepee, President of the Geoff Geary fan club – National Fans of Geoff Geary, or the NFGG – had this to say: “Geoff was an icon for all of Philadelphia sports. He was the epitome of hard work, confidence, grace and sportsmanship. There were two icons in Philadelphia sports right – one is Donovan McNabb, the other was Geoff Geary. The loss of Geoff Geary is a major blow not only to the Phillies, but to the entire Philadelphia sports landscape.”

In an emergency meeting, Phillies management consider canceling the season entirely, but MLB officials informed the team that this would not be possible. Even though their fan base is furious and their clubhouse in shambles, the Phillies are required to participate in the 2008 baseball season.

“I wake up every morning a broken man,” said shortstop Jimmy Rollins, the National League MVP. “Geoff was everything and more to this franchise. If he was traded, that means anyone in this locker room can be traded. Who’s next? Cole Hamels? Chase Utley? I just don’t know anymore. How in the hell are we supposed to compete in the NL East without Geoff Geary?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!