NFL to play game in Bermuda Triangle, hoping Denver Broncos will disappear

BERMUDA — The NFL, continuing its new approach of playing games at the world’s great landmarks, has scheduled a regular season game for next season during which it really hopes the Denver Broncos will simply disappear forever.

“We’re delighted to announce that we’re going to be playing a game at the scenic Bermuda Triangle, the spot where thousands of ships have mysteriously disappeared over the years,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “Hopefully we can go, put on a wonderful show for the people of the region, introduce them to a little bit of the NFL experience, lose the Broncos forever, and then return home safe and sound, with everyone and everything intact. Except the Broncos, of course.”

The game is scheduled to be played on Dec. 4, 2008, and will feature the Carolina Panthers taking on the Broncos. It will feature the same elements that one sees in a traditional NFL game, including cheerleaders, a regular sized field, and NFL referees.

“It’s gonna be great,” Goodell said. “There are going to be at least 15,000 fans there, and probably half of them will already understand football going in. So that will be cool. And, we’re going to have a steel drum band for the halftime show!”

When asked why he hopes that the Broncos don’t return, Goodell was noncommittal. “It’s not that I dislike the Broncos,” he said. “But from time to time, you have to ask yourself – do I really love every team in the league? The answer is obviously no. The Broncos, they just don’t really do it for me. Shanahan’s annoying, Travis Henry causes all sorts of problems. And I don’t even know the names of any of their wide receivers. Would it be so bad if they just weren’t around next year?”

When asked if the Panthers could just as easily disappear, Goodell smiled. “Let’s just say we’re hoping their sense of patriotism compels them to try and rescue the Broncos. If you catch my drift.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!