McFadden to forego draft, go straight to Hall

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Former Arkansas running back Darren McFadden arrived in Indianapolis late Wednesday for the NFL Scouting Combine, presumably ready to flash the skills that have led many experts to label him the league’s next big thing.

But as it turns out, the projected top-five pick says he is content to be nothing more than a spectator. McFadden told SSNN he has decided to skip the combine – which is the NFL’s official barometer in determining a player’s potential – as well as the draft in April.

The two-time Heisman Trophy runner-up explained that participating in either event would be nothing more than a “waste of time,” and would have no bearing whatsoever on him reaching his predestined gridiron immortality.

“I’ve heard all the rave reviews I have been getting from the experts around the country the last few years – I feel like people have a pretty good idea of how good I am. I’m probably a little better than they say, but nothing too tragic. So the with the Combine, I figured why bother?” McFadden said. “Whether I run a 4.2 forty here today, get drafted, play for 15 years, win 8 championships and become the NFL’s all-time leading rusher or not, it’s basically irrelevant. I’m still gonna end up in the Hall of Fame at Canton, so why sweat the little things?”

McFadden’s decision to forego his career is a unique one, and representatives from the Hall of Fame were unsure whether they could consider him for enshrinement as of press time. However, if the Hall ultimately does view him as qualified, there are those who believe he belongs.

“We’re talking about Run-DMC here, baby. He’s been at the top of my Big Board for ‘08 since 2006,” said ESPN draft expert Mel Kiper, Jr. “If that’s not Hall of Fame credentials, I don’t know what is. Obviously McFadden’s impact would be greater if he actually entered the league, but I don’t really see why never playing a down in the NFL would keep him out of Canton.”

McFadden overheard Kiper’s comments, and gave the slick-haired commentator a high-five. The self-proclaimed “spawn of Jim Brown and Barry Sanders” then tore for the exits, claiming he was running late for an appointment to be sized for his bronze bust.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!