Beckham claims show doesn’t portray ‘real passion’ with Snoop Dogg

LOS ANGELES, CA — English football star turned Hollywood socialite and walking injury David Beckham is furious with producers of the Entertainment Television (E!) hit series Snoop Dogg: Father Hood. Beckham claims the creators of the show deliberately downplayed the intimate relationship between himself and Calvin Broadus – a.k.a. Snoop Dogg – by deleting scenes that displayed “ethnically diverse homoeroticism,” after being pressured by top-level station executives.

Beckham, who made appearances in multiple episodes of Snoop’s reality show early in the season, says he and Snoop consummated their friendship long before the show even reached production.

According to Beckham, Snoop called him soon after the newly acquired Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder decided to move overseas to America. Since then, the two have been nearly inseparable. However, since editors have been instructed to leave a good deal of footage on the cutting room floor, the stars’ have seen the extent of their exploits limited to only a serene game of soccer in a neighborhood park, followed by a fried chicken and chitlins feast at Snoop’s favorite hangout in South Central Los Angeles.

“Snoop and I have developed a very special bond over the last year or so, and it’s just a shame that the television series chose not to depict the real passion that exists between us,” Beckham explained to SSNN. “Personally, I think people would enjoy seeing the real David and Snoop. I mean, we’re not gay or anything; not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying that we have a lot of fun together, whether it’s playing naked twister or singing karaoke at the local pub. But, unfortunately, E! has taken it upon themselves to decide that the public doesn’t deserve to see that.”

Despite his chagrin, Beckham glowed as he ranted on about his new “BFF,” going so far as to insinuate that he may have found a replacement for his fame-hungry, stick figure wife, Victoria.

“You’ve seen my wife,” Beckham said. “Would you wanna go to bed every night with a skeleton? What I like about Snoop is that he’s got some meat on his bones. Not much, but some. But that’s how our relationship works – I accept him for who he is, and he does the same for me. It’s really something very special.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!