Woodson protests controversial NBA decision

ATLANTA, GA– Hawks Coach Mike Woodson is crying foul, after a controversial decision by the NBA was made to “do-over” the last 51.9 seconds of the Hawks-Heat game, in which the Atlanta Hawks defeated the Miami Heat 117-111. The decision was made after it was brought to the attention of NBA commissioner David Stern that Heat center Shaquille O’Neal had been incorrectly ruled to have fouled out of the game.

“This was just an unfortunate error that possibly, maybe, kind of, sort of, just a little bit, almost affected the outcome of the game,” said NBA Commissioner Stern at a press conference announcing the decision. “Therefore, it is absolutely imperative that the final seconds of this game be replayed.”

But Coach Woodson is openly protesting the commissioner’s decision.

“The NBA cannot call for a ‘do-over’ of this game, because before the first whistle of the game was even blown, I very emphatically called ‘no take-backs,’” Woodson told SSNN. “League rules clearly state that if a coach calls ‘no take-backs’ before the game starts, then the commissioner cannot, for any reason, call for a ‘do-over’ of the game,” continued Woodson. “If Commissioner Stern is going to ignore the ‘no take-backs’ rule, then he might as well just throw the ‘no givesy-backsies,’ ‘timeouts don’t count if your fingers are crossed,’ AND the ‘Mother may I’ rules right out the damn window! Simon didn’t say!!”

Coach Woodson’s complaint is currently under NBA commission review.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!