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News Item

Truman infuriated by Tribune error

CHICAGO, IL – Newly crowned President Harry S. Truman is absolutely irate about an error that was brazenly printed in the Chicago Tribune yesterday.

“Yesterday, a terrible thing happened with the Chicago Tribune,” Truman said. “In the basketball boxscores, they had listed that Bill Russell had 11 rebounds last night and eight points. What really happened is that he had eight rebounds and 11 points. This is totally unacceptable to me, and I will not stand for this sort of inaccuracy during my presidency.

“I cannot believe the terrible nature of reporting that consistently transpires with that publication,” Truman continued. “Time and time again this publication makes mistake after mistake with little to no recourse. If I appear to be joyous now, it can only be because I was just elected President, for I assure you this is no laughing matter.”

The President said that he was concerned not just because of the lazy reporting, but also because of the tremendous negative implication that it could have on the nation.

“People count on the newspapers of this country for reliable sports statistics,” Truman said. “I know that in my one keeper fantasy league, all of the decisions that we make have significant, long-term implications. If I cannot get accurate information, how in the hell am I going to make these decisions? The athletes of this fair republic should receive their coronations on courts and gridirons, rather than being granted them by lazy copy editors. Fact checking, people – it’s part of the job.”

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Labels: Bill Russell, Chicago Tribune, fantasy basketball, Harry S. Truman

Posted on January 5th, 2008

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