Surgeon removed ‘ear-like’ growth from Clemens’ forehead

NEW YORK, NY — A plastic surgeon who spoke with SSNN investigators on the condition of anonymity said he removed a growth from the forehead of Roger Clemens early in 2001. “At the time we just referred to it as an ‘unnatural growth,’ but when Roger was talking about a third ear during his 60 Minutes interview, it occurred to me that was probably a better way of describing it,” the surgeon explained. “In retrospect, it was quite ear-like.” According to information attributed to Brian McNamee in the Mitchell Report, Clemens had used steroids on several occasions before the 2001 surgery. In his interview with Mike Wallace on 60 Minutes, Clemens said that, if the allegations were true, he would “have a third ear growing out of my forehead, and … be pulling trucks with my teeth.” The surgeon was unable to shed any light on the latter claim. “I can’t really say anything with regards to pulling trucks, but it did require approximately seven times the normal dose of anesthetic to put Roger under for the surgery.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!