Peyton Manning experiencing really weird feelings toward brother Eli

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Peyton Manning reported this week that he’s feeling some really unusual feelings directed at his brother Eli, including some feelings that he’s never felt toward Eli before and with which he is totally unfamiliar.

“I feel like I really want what he has,” Peyton said. “Like he’s doing better than I am and that I wish I was him. I don’t really know how to describe it, but it just sort of burns in my heart, almost like my soul just keeps saying, ‘I wish it was me.’”

Eli Manning will lead his Giants against the Packers for the right to play in the Super Bowl; Peyton will be watching from home as the New England Patriots take on the San Diego Chargers, who upset the Colts 28-24 this past weekend.

“I’ve known Eli for a long time,” Peyton said. “And I feel like I’ve been pretty consistent in my feelings toward him. Never had trouble describing them, either. Bemusement, pride, embarrassment—I’ve felt all these things. But this new deal, I’m not sure what it is. I feel like he got some big commercial that I really wanted, and I didn’t get it. And I really wished that I had gotten it. Now you can obviously see how ridiculous this situation is.”

Manning, who takes tremendous pride in both game preparation and vocabulary, is doubly concerned that he can’t find the word to describe his emotion toward Eli.

“It’s a total travesty that in this fine language, with its tens of thousands of words for every situation, that there is not even one word to describe the burning rage that I feel toward my brother inside, while outside I smile and wish him luck publicly,” Peyton Manning said. “Really unusual, no?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!