Peyton Manning audibles out of wife’s book club

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Preparing for next week’s playoff game, Colts quarterback Peyton Manning may have already made his most important call of the season. The NFL star demonstrated his mastery of quick decisions under pressure, calling an audible out of his wife Ashley’s book club on Tuesday night. “I’ve played in a lot of big games, and I’ve made a lot of tough calls in the course of my career. I think most people know – I audible all the time out there on the football field, but this was by far the best audible I have ever called. I looked into the future and saw a potential night of discussing The Kite Runner with a bunch of boring neighborhood couples and I knew I had to think on my feet. So the excuse I came up with is what I call emergency practice,” Manning explained. “I told my wife that I couldn’t make it because I got called into this last minute practice; obviously, that’s ridiculous – there’s no such thing as last minute practice in the NFL, especially in the playoffs.” In reality, Manning’s plan is to meet in Dallas Clarke’s basement with a number of other teammates. “Emergency practice is a sort of code phrase we have,” he explained. “It basically entails seeing who can drink the most Jim Beam without passing out.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!