McFadden cites “deplorable working conditions” at Arkansas

FAYETTEVILLE, AR–Standout college tailback Darren McFadden has informed SSNN that he has asked for, and received, his release from the Arkansas Razorbacks. In a sit-down interview with SSNN, McFadden spoke with great candor about his time with the team.

“My experience with the Razorbacks these last few years has really just been terrible,” McFadden told SSNN. “First of all, they don’t even pay us! In the NFL, a guy with my stats would be pulling in, and I’m not joking here, literally millions of dollars. Yet, I’ve been playing for Arkansas for three years, THREE YEARS, and I can’t even get my shoes compensated for. I’m telling you man, this college football is for the birds.”

McFadden then went into even greater detail of his accounts of what it was like to play for the University of Arkansas under such “deplorable working conditions.”

“I don’t know if they took a lesson from Wal-Mart, or something, given that we’re in Arkansas and all,” McFadden said. “But the working conditions here suck. You would think that a two-year Heisman runner-up would be able to afford a bachelor pad that is MTV Cribs-worthy, but quite to the contrary, my friend. The university has been forcing me to live in this tiny dorm room with a bunch of lazy, un-ambitious stoners. Together, we have learned to survive on Ramen noodles, and each other’s company. Oh, and every single time I brought up my financial concerns up to Coach Nutt, he’s all like, ‘Well Darren, uh, the NCAA won’t allow us to talk about that,’ then he quickly leaves the room, and I’m like, ‘What the heck?’”

So, what’s next for Darren McFadden?

“I think I’m going to try and get a job playing football for the NFL, man,” McFadden said. “Those dudes make way, way, way more money than I’ve been making here. And they all have the same job! I’ll probably just do that, and then later finish up school by taking some online classes. I’m not sure if I’m going to finish at Arkansas; I may end up just finishing at the University of Phoenix or something like that. Who knows? I feel like if I can get out of this bad working environment, the world will be my oyster.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!