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News Item

Mangino eats Mangini in battle over nickname

MIAMI, FL — In perhaps the oddest ending to a college football game of all time, University of Kansas Jayhawks head football coach Mark Mangino ate New York Jets head coach Eric Mangini after the Jayhawks 24-21 Orange Bowl victory Thursday night.

Witnesses confirmed Mangini was indeed in attendance at last night’s game and that the Jets coach had gone down to the field to congratulate Mangino when an argument broke out between the two.

“Mangino saw Mangini coming and he got really red,” said Miami Herald photographer Ben Benitez. “Mangini said something like ‘good job’ and Mangino just started going off on him. He began yelling, ‘you’re no Mangenius, I’m the Mangenius!’ Then he ate him in like two, maybe three bites before he dropped a cover of Eminem’s ‘My Name Is’, substituting Slim Shady with Mangenius. It was awesome.”

Mangino is currently being held in a Miami jail, but the university released a statement today to address the issue.

“All of Kansas is saddened by this incident, but we are confident that Coach Mangino will be acquitted of any and all charges,” said University of Kansas press secretary Bill McClellan. “Coach Mangino just wanted to remind everyone that there is nothing genius about a 14-19 career coaching record and being known as Bill Belichick’s bitch.”

Surprisingly, there has been little mourning in the NFL community.

“That’s what happens to snitches,” an anonymous player told SSNN. “You rat somebody out and a 400-pound monster eats you. Happens all the time.”

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Labels: Eminem, Eric Mangini, Football, Kansas Jayhawks, Mark Mangino, Miami Herald, NCAA, New York Jets, NFL, Orange Bowl, Slim Shady, Videogate

Posted on January 5th, 2008

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Other Related News Items

Self criticizes fellow Jayhawk Mangino for failing to fulfill potential (December 23, 2007)
Kansas football to scrimmage Chiefs to prove they’re for real (November 9, 2007)
Jets can’t decide which weak-armed QB should start (June 5, 2008)
Mangino to go on all-orange diet (January 4, 2008)

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