Jeter not going to waste pick on self in fantasy league

NEW YORK, NY – In a candid and emotional interview with SSNN early this morning, Derek Jeter admitted he wouldn’t waste a fantasy draft pick on himself in 2008.

“Not if I’m trying to win a championship,” Jeter said. “I mean, yeah sure, if I’m just screwin’ around with a group of friends I might chuck myself out there in the third round, but I know I’d regret it later.”

The 33-year-old shortstop is usually taken in the fourth round of most fantasy drafts.

“I can’t understand why anyone would want me on their team,” Jeter said. “I barely hit for a high average, and that’s my one and only quality. Honestly, there are at least a hundred players out there that are more valuable than I am. Unless you’re in a fantasy league that gives you points for fielding percentage, banging actresses, or overratedness, there’s no reason to draft me.”

Despite repeated tries to steer the conversation to a new topic, Jeter continued to berate his own fantasy baseball abilities.

“Listen, it makes sense that people are high on drafting me,” he said. “I play in a powerful line-up, stand right next to that showboat A-rod on the field, and let’s not forget the four pieces of bling I wear to dinner every night. But, let’s face it, these days, you’re team just isn’t going to win as long as I’m on it.”

Jeter continued. “On the Yankees, I’d rather have Andy Pettitte, Mariano Rivera, Bobby Abreu, A-Rod, Giambi, Jorge Posada, or even Robinson Cano before I’d take myself. At least Cano might hit thirty homers.” He paused. “Wait, do you get some of A-Rod’s stats if you draft me? No? Okay, then, yeah, don’t do it.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!