Favre happy he won’t have to cancel “Dancing”

GREEN BAY, WI — The Green Bay Packers’ untimely exit from the postseason worked out well for Brett Favre, who will not have to cancel a scheduled appearance on a new, local television program, “Dancing with Brett Favre.”

The program, which is slated to begin with a live, two-hour telecast at the same time as the Super Bowl, will basically feature middle-aged women from northern Wisconsin asking Brett Favre to dance.

“I’m really excited to be able to honor my commitment to the show,” Favre said. “You know, when we made the plans, we didn’t think they’d be conflicting with anything. So sure, I’m a bit disappointed, but to have 50 beautiful Wisconsinites come and ask me to dance – hell, I feel blessed.”

The Packers also announced several other Favre-related promotions, including plans for a new line of children’s books. After purchasing the rights to the Dick & Jane literary empire, the organization intends to adapt the stories to feature Brett & Deanna Favre.

As part of a joint marketing effort, the NFL will also begin work on several new children’s titles, including Favre in Wonderland, Favre and the Touchdown Factory, and Favre and the Beanstalk. The future hall-of-fame quarterback has also been approached for two movie appearances, in which he will play himself and no less than ten other characters. One, entitled Lord of the Packers, is expected to begin filming in March and is likely to compete for an Oscar.

“It’s going to be a busy offseason for me,” Favre said. “But you know, there’s nothing in the world I’d rather be doing than being a celebrity for playing football who goes around telling anyone who will listen that he’s only interested in playing football. If you feel me.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!