E:60 facing changes to name, format

BRISTOL, CT — After only a few months of airtime, and limited interest shown in mediocre ratings, the ESPN’s fresh-off-the-press TV newsmag – E:60 – is making some fundamental changes.

Thus far, each episode of the show has featured three or four of the station’s investigative reporters each covering one story, and explaining why they found it interesting and what they learned. In-between and after these exposé pieces, there are short athlete bios or featurettes, including several featuring Bill Simmons, ESPN.com’s “The Sports Guy.” Apparently, Simmons’ segments have tested best in focus groups and scored the best ratings.

“Bill is just killing the rest of the show; almost like people are turning it on at the end just to see him take half-court jump shots and whatnot. It was overwhelming, actually,” ESPN president George Bodenheimer told SSNN. “People are simply not responding at all to the stories that our investigative team is putting on the table. Yeah, it’s surprising – I thought that parkour piece, at least, was a shoo-in for huge ratings – but it’s clear we need to head in a different direction.”

Starting next week, the show will be renamed BS:60 and will feature The Sports Guy in a variety of situations – “running the gamut from funny, to silly, to heartwarming,” according to Bodenheimer. The show will also have a 25-minute “Rant” segment, where Bill reads excerpts from his latest column.

“Bill is like a cash cow for us, as it turns out, and we want to capitalize on his popularity before the public gets sick of him. Now that he’s on TV instead of the net, it’s only a matter of time before he inspires a gag reflex in most American sports fans,” Bodenheimer told ESPN. “We’re also thinking of shortening the show to 30 minutes – but we wouldn’t change the name. A 30-minute show called BS:60 – isn’t that just soooo Simmons?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!