Brady: “Super Bowl is chance for perfect suntan”

GLENDALE, AZ — Tom Brady announced Wednesday morning that he thinks the Pats trip to the Super Bowl provides the ultimate chance to really nail down the perfect suntan.

“There have been relatively few times in NFL history when someone has had the chance to go for a perfect suntan,” Brady said. “The bottom line is that a lot of things have to go right. Every year there’s a lot of people will really good suntans, but something happens along the way that prevents them from being perfect. Well, I have a chance to change all that.”

Brady indicated that he is going to try and tan for over two hours a day the rest of the week, and will rotate regularly to ensure that he’s a uniform golden bronze.

The Pats QB even went as far as to say that if he is indeed able to nail the perfect suntan, it will be far more significant than any perfect suntans in the past, given the challenges that face the modern player.

“These days, in the YouTube era, its just not easy to nail a perfect tan,” he said. “Everything is under scrutiny. Plus, I live in Boston. It’s easy to get a great tan if you are down there in the warm winds of Miami in the 1970’s. But try going outside without your shirt on during a good ole Nor’easter, Shula!”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!