Brady sex appeal too much for Chargers in fourth quarter

FOXBORO, MA — The San Diego Chargers were able to challenge the undefeated New England Patriots for much of the championship »”>AFC Championship game on Sunday, but ultimately were unable to put the ball in the end zone or stop Laurence Maroney on a clock-burning, nine-minute Pats drive that ended the game. While many pundits and analysts have been quick to look at injuries to Antonio Gates and LaDainian Tomlinson as the reason for the Bolts coming up short, members of the San Diego defense have a different theory. “Laurence Maroney my ass,” said Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman. “You really think Kevin Falk is a great receiver? I think not – but it’s damn hard to cover anybody when Brady’s eyes are shining at you like gemstones set in the sculpture of his perfect face.” Merriman was not the only one who thought that Pats QB Tom Brady’s raw, animal sex appeal played a part in the loss. “You can see the strength of his jawline from twenty yards downfield,” said CB Antonio Cromartie. “When he stares you down, you just melt. And God forbid he gives you a little hip twist – it’s pretty easy to just completely miss him giving the ball to Maroney. The guy could make Brad Pitt’s knees weak.” Defensive tackle Jamar Williams was unwilling to put the loss completely on Brady’s disarming good looks, but did admit that he may have missed tackles on the Pats’ running backs because he “just wanted to give Tommie a long, soft hug… just once.”