Zambrano hoping to work from home in ‘08

CHICAGO, IL — The progressive workplace approach of Carlos Zambrano continues to play out for the Chicago Cubs.

The burly pitcher sent the team a 14-page request this week, asking to be allowed to work from home in 2008. The pitcher, who recently signed a $92 million contract extension, believes he can be more productive from a home workplace while reducing costs for the team.

“Flexible workplaces are the way of the future,” Zambrano wrote. “More and more employers are turning to technology in order to cut costs and otherwise increase the speed and efficiency of business. Given the crushing financial obligation that my contract places upon the Cubs’ franchise, I feel there is an onus of responsibility upon me to aid in that cost-cutting process however I can. That is all I am trying to accomplish.”

In order to ease the burden of transition on the Cubs, Zambrano has offered to come to the ballpark at least one day a week.

“I told them I would try and make that a day when I was pitching,” Zambrano told SSNN. “That way I could participate in the game directly. But either way, I feel like if I can come in one day a week, they won’t forget who I am, what I look like, what I feel like. But in this day in age, it’s stupid to have me show up every day, when I can just as easily work from home.”

On days when Zambrano is scheduled to pitch, his plan is to have a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself placed on the mound, next to a pitching machine.

“I’ll have the TV on and I’ll be on speakerphone with a coach who will be on the mound,” Zambrano told SSNN. “I’ll tell him how to set the machine, so it throws what I want. This is no different than a big shot corporate executive who sends a representative to a meeting. This is how the world works now.”

Zambrano believes the Cubs will go for the proposal.

“Think about how much money they’ll save if they don’t have to fly me around the country, or feed me every day, or even keep a locker for me,” he said. “Plus, we are in the throes of the environmental revolution. In this day of ever-increasing carbon footprints, I can’t imagine a reason that they wouldn’t let me do this.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!