Williams to reporters: scoreboard, bite me

HOUSTON, TX -– It appears that Texans’ defensive end Mario Williams is having the last laugh at the doubters and naysayers who questioned his selection as the first pick of the 2006 draft.

“Don’t act like you didn’t do nothin’ wrong. You guys were calling me the next Sam Bowie before I ever played a down,” a giddy Williams told reporters. “Any of you Nostradumbasses know who’s second in the NFL in sacks right now? Here’s a hint – it ain’t Reggie Bush or Vince Young.”

After a successful career at North Carolina State, the Texans surprised many by selecting Williams over Reggie Bush and hometown favorite Vince Young. After a disappointing rookie season, Williams has all but surpassed Young and Bush this season on his way to a 13-sack season and some modicum of vindication.

“Who the hell is Mel Kiper? Him and that little dude that looks like a math teacher kept saying the Texans were dumb and I suck. I got something for them to suck,” Williams screamed, pouding his fist on a table. “I got snubbed for the Pro Bowl, but that’s nothing compared to the snubbing I’m gonna give Kiper next time I see him. Though I have to say, totally ignoring the guy is pretty tough with that hair.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!