Romo blames bad thumb on crazy night with Jessica Simpson

DALLAS, TX -– Contradicting reports that he suffered a thumb injury during last weekend’s game against the Eagles, Cowboys QB Tony Romo told reporters that the injury actually occurred during a crazy night with starlet Jessica Simpson. “The girl’s a freak,” Romo said with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. “And I’m not talking whip cream and strawberries – she’s more limber than a gymnast.” After Romo played his worst game of the year Sunday, critics around the league were left wondering whether Simpson was to blame. The young All-Pro’s liaison with Simspon marks the third time he has been linked to an entertainment figure in the last year. Romo’s bedroom injury has angered many of his teammates, who feel their quarterback should place more focus on the team’s play and less on his own. The Cowboys are currently tied with Green Bay for the best record in the NFC, but hold the tiebreaker for home field advantage. “She’s hot and all, but he played like Bledsoe against Philly,” Cowboys safety Roy Williams told SSNN. “We’ve got home field advantage on the line, and he’s off in la-la-land playing hide the thumb with this braindead bimbo. The kid needs to get his priorities straight.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!