Putin backs Belichick as successor

MOSCOW — Russian leader Vladimir Putin has backed New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick to replace him as president next year, according to a Russian media report obtained by SSNN.

Ending months of speculation, Putin made his announcement shortly after a meeting with party leaders.

“I have known Bill for a long time, since his days with the Cleveland Browns,” Putin said. “I believe that as President he will carry on the legacy that we have started during my terms. I look forward to his election on March 2.”

Belichick, like Putin, is believed to have ties to both the Soviet military and the KGB. In fact, earlier this year, Belichick was believed to have been caught spying on the New York Jets for the Russian intelligence community.

The unorthodox move of appointing an American football coach as the new President is seen by many as an attempt by Putin to maintain a close grip on power, even as he leaves the presidency. He is eligible to run again after sitting out a term, and many believe that he is planning to do just that.

“I’m not going to speculate on what Vlad is or isn’t going to do,” Belichick told ecstatic Russian reporters after his team’s 34-13 thrashing of the Pittsburgh Steelers. “I’m just going to go ahead and try to finish off this undefeated season, and then in the offseason I’ll worry about getting elected President of Russia.”

Putin was confident that both goals are achievable.

“Getting elected as president of Russia is going to be the easy part,” Putin said. “Getting past the Colts in the playoffs – that’s where I want Bill to focus his energy right now.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!