Phoenix nun punched Horry after game

PHOENIX, AZ — SSNN sources in San Antonio report that Spurs forward Robert Horry was attacked by a Phoenix-based nun immediately following the Spurs-Suns game on Monday. “This little old lady walked straight up to Bob and knocked the hell out of him,” a laughing Tim Duncan confirmed. “She kept yelling about his hit on Nash and smacking him with her bible… [inaudible] I’m sorry, I can’t stop laughing.” The Spurs-Suns rivalry reached a fever pitch during last year’s playoffs, after Horry’s body check to Steve Nash led to suspensions for Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire; many Suns fans believe those suspensions cost Phoenix the series. When asked for comment on the incident, Horry refused speak to the press. However, the Sisters of the Our Lady of Guadalupe convent in Phoenix were more than happy to speak their minds. “Bruce Bowen should suffer the Spanish Spider,” a furious Sister Patricia Woodley said. “They’re the dirtiest team in the league. If Sister Julia accosted Horry, the scumbag had it coming. Although I think she stole a $20 from the collection plate for the bus fare to Texas, and that is NOT okay.” It is unlikely that Horry or the Spurs will pursue criminal charges, particularly since Sister Julia left the jurisdiction early Tuesday and there is no clear evidence of the crime.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!