Paxson to reject numerous trades for Gordon, Deng

CHICAGO, IL — With his team a disappointing 8-13, Chicago Bulls GM John Paxson has reportedly decided to reopen trade talks.

At a rare Sunday press conference, Paxson explained his exact intentions in addressing trade scenarios with a number of teams. He declared no player touchable, and is optimistic he will have a handful of tempting offers on his desk by Monday.

Paxson’s young roster has long drawn interest from franchises league wide thanks to a mix of raw talent and college pedigree. Bulls guard Ben Gordon and forward Luol Deng will most likely be the focus of any upcoming trade proposals Paxson would reject.

“I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve this team; whether it be via trade or free agency, the Bulls will always find a way to say no,” Paxson told reporters. “One thing we all agree on is our need for a low-post scorer to help spread the floor for our perimeter shooters. A guy like Pau Gasol of the Memphis Grizzlies would be an ideal fit; or Jermaine O’Neal, from the Pacers would be a long shot that could pay off big. It’s going to be tough, but I’m sure we’ll pull together as a franchise and find something wrong with anything we’re offered.”

According to a team source, the Bulls are currently exploring the possibility of an offer including the Orlando Magic’s Dwight Howard. The Bulls have coveted the young big man since he entered the NBA and think a deal involving Deng, Gordon and guard Kirk Hinrich would be something the Magic would seriously consider. Paxson has been speaking with Magic brass all week, and may be on the verge of drawing up a blockbuster deal for the team to pull out of at the eleventh hour.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!