Mr. Met denies steroid allegations

FLUSHING, NY — In the wake of his surprising mention in the Mitchell Report, New York Mets mascot Mr. Met categorically denied using performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 and claims never to have met the man who reportedly sold them to him.

Former Mets clubhouse attendant Kirk Radomski told federal prosecutors he injected Mr. Met with deca-durabolin on three separate occasions in 2003. Radomski said Mr. Met approached him with questions about performance enhancing drugs in 2002, while the mascot was struggling to recover from surgery to repair a torn medial-collateral ligament.

“There was a point in the 2002 season where it was obvious to everyone that Mr. Met really just didn’t have the same enthusiasm, and there were talks of bringing in a replacement,” a Mets insider revealed to SSNN on the condition of anonymity. “At the same time, Billy the Marlin and the Philly Phanatic were doing things the mascot world had never seen before, and Mr. Met was insanely jealous. He just couldn’t handle it.”

In 2003, Mr. Met came back from injury with a vengeance and quickly regained his spot as the most beloved mascot in existence. But Mr. Met vehemently denied that steroids helped him recover from surgery, attributing his success to hard work and flaxseed oil.

“I have never knowingly used steroids, and am appalled that a disgruntled former Mets employee would come up with blatant lies,” Mr. Met said in a prepared statement. “When Radomski worked for our organization, at no time did I ever spend any time with him in a bathroom stall. Our relationship was nonexistent.”

Despite Mr. Met’s adamant assertions, sources inside MLB confirmed that the league is suspicious of the mascot’s massive head growth since joining the team in 1962. According to the Mets official website, “[Mr. Met's] baseball head began to swell with the win in ‘69, and grew still larger from ‘73, to ‘86, to the Subway Series in ‘00.”

Rapid head growth is one of the many side effects of using steroids, and does not occur with regular weight training. The 2007 Mascot Hall of Fame inductee will surely face more questions when the remaining details of Radomski’s testimony are released. Mr. Met has been suspended indefinitely by the Mets organization as they investigate the accusations.