McMahon sends MLB $2M “Thank You” note

NEW YORK, NY –- Elated that the WWE is no longer the black sheep of professional sports, wrestling kingpin Vince McMahon sent Bud Selig a thank you note, along with a two million dollar check. “Just wanted old Bud to know I’m pulling for him,” McMahon said while chomping on a cigar. “I feel horrible for him and baseball. It’s really tough to watch a sport fall victim to the pratfalls of drug use.” Many believe McMahon’s happiness is likely attributed to the Mitchell Report’s deflection of attention from the WWE’s own problems with steroids. In June, the WWE was the subject of intense media scrutiny after popular wrestler, Chris Benoit killed himself and family members in a steroid driven rage. “We’ve done everything possible to clean up our sport,” McMahon told SSNN. “My generous donation to Bud and MLB is just my way of helping them sort out their own issues with ‘roids. In the end, we’re all part of the sports family.” When contacted by SSNN for comment on the donation, Selig refused to confirm or deny its existence, but did say he would consider retroactively thanking Mr. McMahon if, in fact, there is ever convincing evidence that the gift was given.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!