Manning forgets wife in last-minute shopping frenzy

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — For an NFL quarterback, the holidays are a trying time.

Peyton Manning led his Colts onto the field Sunday for a drubbing of a floundering Houston squad; and with post-game festivities, he didn’t get home until nearly midnight. Though he knew it was probably a mistake, the perennial Pro Bowler decided to leave his Christmas shopping for Monday’s day off.

“Obviously, in retrospect, it was a mistake. I could have just hopped on the web and ordered a bunch of gifts for overnight delivery, but I really had this crazy idea in my head that there would be a ton of sales on Christmas Eve – you know, like to get rid of extra holiday overstock or something,” Peyton admitted to SSNN. “If I had just ordered online, not only would I have had a much easier time finding things, but I probably would have realized my mistake on Monday rather than at 4 AM this morning.”

The mistake Manning is referring to is forgetting to buy a gift for his wife, Ashley. Though he filled stockings for both of his brothers, his parents, Tony Dungy, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark and all six of the offensive lineman who have blocked for him this season, Peyton somehow failed to buy “the most important gift of all.”

“I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do,” Manning told SSNN from suburban Indianapolis, where he was driving the streets throughout the night, looking for an open jewelry store. “At this point, I just don’t think any stores will be open. At least, not anything where I can buy a nice gift. Something tells me that Ash is not gonna go for McGriddles as a Christmas gift.

“I can always point out that I didn’t get anything for Marvin either, but Ashley is pretty clever – she’ll probably know that it’s because he didn’t really contribute this season.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!