Local fantasy owner files protest seeking money back, championship trophies

SANTA CLARA, CA — Accountant John Donovan is furious today at what he perceives to be “gross injustices” in the way that the Santa Clara Fantasy Baseball Association has handled the steroids controversy, after his formal grievance – submitted via email to league commissioner Rob “Robbie” Dominguez – was rejected earlier today.

“This is an absolute travesty,” Donovan wrote. “I demand that the JD Whiskeydrinkers be granted the league championship for 2002, 2005, and 2006. Also, I insist that my entry fee from each year be returned. Actually, I think that the whole prize pool should be given to me; but if that’s not possible I will accept the refund of my entry fee.”

Donovan’s case centers around the fact that his team came in second during each of the years he mentions, while he had only Andy Pettitte and Paul LoDuca from the players listed on the Mitchell Report. League Champions in those seasons had as many as five players from the report, including Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, Ismael Valdez and Jim Parque.

“Your [sic] being unreasonable,” Donovan wrote to Dominguez, when informed that his grievance had been denied. “Everyone knows that I could’ve traded for Troy Glaus and Bret Boone, but I didn’t. Why? Because I didn’t want any ‘roidmongers on my team! And now I’m being punished? Absolutely unacceptible [sic].”

Donovan has threatened to move to another league with better steroid testing policies for the 2008 fantasy season, if the matter is not brought to what he considers to be “a reasonable and equitable conclusion.”

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It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!