LaRussa blames DUI on supplements from Ankiel

WEST PALM BEACH, FL — Cardinals Manager Tony LaRussa pleaded guilty this week to a DUI charge stemming from an incident that occurred during spring training eight months ago. At the court hearing, LaRussa blamed the incident on vitamin supplements he received from Cardinals outfielder, Rick Ankiel.

“I hate to throw Ricky under the bus like this, but he gave me some vitamins that really messed me up,” La Russa told a Florida judge. “I may have appeared to be intoxicated from alcohol, but that was not the case. I don’t know what were in those things, but they did a number on me. I should’ve known better with Ankiel – he’s on damn near everything.”

Ankiel, who was the subject of controversy earlier this year after it was revealed that he took the performance enhancing drug HGH, declined to comment on the matter.

“I’m not sure what the deal with Rick Ankiel was,” arresting office, Sgt. Groen told SSNN. “It was obvious Tony was drunk. He had dried vomit on his shirt and a bottle of Jim Beam in the passenger seat. But he kept going on and on about vitamins that he received from one of his players.”

Despite his tricky defense strategy, LaRussa was sentenced to probation, including fifty hours of community service, for the misdemeanor infraction.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!