High school coach ends pre-game viewings of 300 following on-field slaughter

PLEASANT VALLEY, IA — A promising high school running back is dead after being decapitated and then repeatedly bludgeoned by a linebacker wielding a homemade sword during the second quarter of the Greater Pleasant Valley Spartans’ game against hated cross-town rival, the Bettendorf Bulldogs.

It was a night filled with anticipation at Spartan Stadium, as the Spartans (8-2) and Bulldogs (9-0) had each already qualified for tournament play following the season, but the Spartans were looking to play the spoiler role and ruin the Bulldogs’ perfect record.

In what has become a weekly ritual since its release on DVD, the Spartans met three hours before their scheduled warm-ups and watch the film 300 as a motivational tool.

“It was just something fun for the team, and it really seemed to be a great way to get them focused,” said Greater Pleasant Valley coach Rusty Van Wetzinga. “We even adopted a quote from the film as our theme for the year. I had it painted on our wall so the guys would see it each time they headed to the field… Obviously I didn’t realize the effect it would have.”

Above that door to the field, emblazoned in team colors, is the phrase, “Give them nothing! But take from them everything!”

The Bulldogs’ Jason Freeman was running a reverse during his team’s first possession when he broke through the line of scrimmage and came face-to-face with Spartan linebacker Taylor Adamson. Freeman juked left, then went right; suddenly, Adamson drew a makeshift scimitar from underneath his #56 jersey and set himself in an attack stance. As the lithe running back moved past him, Adamson let out a blood-curdling scream and swung his homemade weapon, separating Freeman’s head from his shoulders instantly.

A horrified crowd watched as Adamson stood over the prone body of the All-Stater and repeatedly drove the sword into it, each thrust punctuated by loud grunts. As local law enforcement officers rushed the field, and confused Bulldogs backed away, Adamson grabbed the helmet - still with Freeman’s head inside - held it aloft, turned as he pointed the still-dripping weapon towards the Bulldog bench and yelled, “THIS… IS… GREATER PLEASANT VALLEY!”

Adamson was then roughly tackled to the ground and handcuffed, as trainers ran out with blankets to cover up the body and severed head of Freeman. Both teams and all fans were immediately evacuated from the stadium.

“We are shocked and saddened by what happened out there this evening, and are still trying to process why this has happened,” Coach Van Wetzinga explained in an impromptu statement given in the parking lot immediately following the removal of Adamson from the premises. He also declared that the ritual viewings of 300 would immediately cease.

“Freeman was a great kid - first one to practice, last one to leave. He will be missed by all of us,” said Bettendorf coach Randy Scott. “Furthermore, I have spoken with the athletic directors of both schools, and we were awarded the victory tonight via forfeit; in accordance with what very well might have been Jason’s dying wishes. We’ll definitely use this as motivation as we try to clinch our second consecutive MAC conference title next week against Davenport Central.”

In a statement released following his incarceration, Taylor Adamson had only this to say – “I have two words for my team: State Championship.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!