FROM THE ARCHIVES: Olbermann refuses to make Patriot Act joke

Keith Olbermann could have another chance to make a joke about the Patriots and videotaping this weekend, with the Jets’ taping practices now in question…

NEW YORK, NY — The left-wing news media is in an uproar this week over the refusal of MSNBC news host Keith Olbermann to make any joke whatsoever using the seemingly easy pun about the Patriot Act and the admitted spying by New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick.

Olbermann, former SportsCenter anchor and host of MSNBC’s Countdown, has had ample time to make the obvious joke, and is clearly aware of the possibilities, and yet he has demurred. When questioned about the grounds for his refusal to make the joke about the Patriots (and, implicitly, President Bush), Olbermann told SSNN, “Look, low hanging fruit is sort of my thing, but that joke is just so easy. It’s too easy for me, even. I won’t do it.”

The refusal has angered many of Olbermann’s leftist contemporaries. Jon Stewart, host of the popular Bush-bashing news-comedy, The Daily Show, was livid when reached for comment.

“I don’t think Keith fully understands the magnitude of this situation,” said Stewart, between panic attacks. “A chance to make fun of the New England Patriots and the President comes very, very rarely. As a liberal newsmedian – that’s a combination of newsman and comedian – you must make this joke. It’s his responsibility. If he doesn’t at least make an offhanded pun, I can only assume Olbermann is actually a communist who lives in South Boston. Either way, this insolence has the potential to ruin us all.”

Many in the broadcast media have already broken out the on-air commentary about the ordeal, including Monday Night Football’s Tony Kornheiser. “I got my know-it-all comments out of the way early,” said Kornheiser. “I honestly don’t know what Olbermann’s problem is. The entire country hates George W. Bush, and we’re all sick of seeing New England win every goddamn game. Hello?!? Keith, wake up!!”

Olbermann assured SSNN that he remains committed to exploring new and unique ways to blast the President on a nightly basis, but in the meantime the liberal media is keeping its eyes and ears peeled to see if Olbermann can get the joke in before the news cycle carries the story away.

“Tick tock, Keith,” Stewart said. “Tick. Tock.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!