Dolphins win, decide to quit while ahead

MIAMI, FL –- Early Wednesday, following the Dolphins’ shocking overtime win over Baltimore last Sunday, Miami owner Wayne Huizenga announced that the team plans to forfeit the rest of the 2007 season. “We didn’t think we’d win one game. You saw the euphoria in the stands, the excitement of the players and coaches – I want the fans to remember that,” Huizenga told media members at a press conference announcing his decision. “There’s no shame in quitting while you’re ahead.” Shortly after the announcement, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s office released a statement wherein the league agreed to suspend the Dolphins’ season, provided that they promise to try harder next year. Goodell went on to say that he had been thinking about canceling the Patriots game anyway, because “it just doesn’t seem fair.” A once proud and storied franchise, the Dolphins have fallen on hard times in recent years, and former head coach Nick Saban’s sudden departure during the offseason only added to the team’s struggles. “It’s a smart move,” former Dolphin great Dan Marino told SSNN. “Cam needs the extra time to tweak the playbook and scout for the draft. The longer they have to start building for next season, the better.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!