BCS formula actually Magic Eight Ball

TAMPA, FL — School presidents, coaches and fans reacted with varying degrees of surprise when it became known late Sunday that the supposed BCS selection computer formula is really no more than a “Magic Eight Ball,” the children’s toy that claims to be able to predict the future.

“We always thought there was something going on,” said Gary Pinkel, coach of the recently BCS-snubbed Missouri Tigers. “We knew that something was off when we made it to number one in the BCS in the first place – I mean, we weren’t really that good. We had heard some stuff about them using Candyland, drawing numbers out of a hat, and randomly cutting decks of cards. But we never had any conclusive evidence.”

Until Sunday, when BCS coordinator Mike Slive was spotted at a local Target store purchasing a brand new Magic Eight Ball, only hours before the BCS selections were revealed.

“I’ve got it,” Slive told someone on his phone, according to a Target bagger who spoke with SSNN on the condition of anonymity. “We’ll finally be able to decide on Hawaii.”

When reached for comment after the announcement of the Bowl selections, Slive issued an unconvincing denial: “No, no, no, we’re not using the Magic Eight Ball to decide anything really important. We’re just… well, really it’s that we’re… You know, when it comes to the bowl selections we pretty much just look at statistics, and of course we ask God. I’ll tell you this, though – if you’re wondering whether we’ve got the right two teams in the BCS Championship Game, the answer is that all signs point to yes.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!