A-Rod finalizes deal with Yankees for $252M, Montana

NEW YORK, NY — Alex Rodriquez cemented his place, at least for now, in sports history as the highest paid contracted player in any sport when he finalized terms of a new contract with the New York Yankees this week.

A-Rod has reportedly signed a deal which will earn him $252 million dollars over ten years, with incentives should he meet certain home run milestones. The third-basemen also gains immediate possession of the State of Montana.

“I’m just glad that all of this is behind me now, and I can finally put all of my focus back on to baseball,” said the three-time AL MVP. “This was never about the money – it’s about me trying to find a place where I know I can finish my career happily and successfully.”

In addition to the benefits of being one of the most famous New York athletes in the history of professional sports, Rodriquez said the benefits of owning Montana “are too many to name in this short press conference. Also, I can’t think of any at the moment.”

“I want to make it clear that Mr. Rordriquez is not taking my position, or anything like that,” Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer told SSNN. “However, he does technically own our fair state now, and can do pretty much whatever he wants to with it. So I suppose he could fire me and take my position, if he so chooses. I still need to speak with the Steinbrenner family and get the specifics; but to the best of my knowledge, our only personnel change will be hiring a nice – and apparently very qualified – young lady from Toronto.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!