Vick started sentence early for financial reasons

RICHMOND, VA — Less than 24 hours after many media members lauded Michael Vick for voluntarily beginning his prison term before the official sentencing hearing, multiple sources indicate that the former Falcons QB may have had ulterior motives for surrendering.

“Mike was struggling, big time,” one Vick confidant told SSNN on the condition of anonymity. “He’s been surviving on canned tuna and generic Mac’n'Cheese for about a month now, and I think he even ran out of mayo. I mean, canned tuna without mayo? That’s just terrible.”

With the Falcons demanding the return of much of Vick’s signing bonus, the government seeking $1 million in damages to cover health care costs for his injured dogs and banks filing suits for a variety of reasons, it seems that Vick had recently entered a crisis zone, financially. The one-time multi-millionaire suddenly found himself unable to afford simple needs like food, much less water and electric bills at his palatial Atlanta estate.

“Yeah, it’s been tough; but I’m a warrior,” Vick told SSNN when reached for comment. “It just seemed like it would be easier to chill in jail for a while. I was gonna have to do it anyway, so I might as well get the free meals when I need them. Plus, I had to cancel my health club membership, so this is a great way to get some free time with weights, you know?”

Fellow former athlete and current felon Mike Tyson also checked into prison within the last 24 hours, though he was sentenced to only one day while Vick is expected to draw a sentence of at least one year.

“Yeah, I heard what Michael was doing and it sounded like a really good idea,” Tyson admitted. “Now I’m in, but they’re talking about kicking me out tomorrow. I need to find a way to stay in here, man – gotta eat, ya know?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!