USC petitions ESPN to keep “dynasty” label

LOS ANGELES, CA -– Despite losing their second game of the season, SSNN has learned that The University of Southern California has filed a petition with ESPN to keep their dynasty label. “It’s just something we don’t want to get rid of,” Trojans Head Coach, Pete Carroll told reporters yesterday. “From a recruiting standpoint, the dynasty label has been invaluable. I’d just hate to see that removed because of a couple silly losses.”

Picked number one in the nation before the season, the Trojans have underperformed this year and barring a miracle, appear unlikely to challenge for the national championship for the second consecutive season. “It’s not about titles,” USC athletic director Mike Garrett said. “I mean technically, we only have one official BCS national title so the use of the word dynasty is rather generous to begin with. That’s why we feel ESPN should continue to use the label. Let’s not let technicalities get in the way of a good thing, alright?” Anxious to have the dynasty label for themselves, both LSU and Ohio St. have made informal requests for their own dynasty rights.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!