Unattended Peyton Manning buys Ed Hardy Shirt

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — A Thursday evening shopping trip to a local Nordstrom’s erupted into chaos when Peyton Manning wandered unsupervised into the men’s section and began picking his own clothing.

“I honestly don’t have an answer,” said Ashley Manning, Peyton’s wife. “We were there, we were in the women’s department, and I was trying on some new Seven jeans. I guess I must’ve been in the dressing room for a long time, because when I got out, I couldn’t find Peyton anywhere.”

Ashley Manning finally located her superstar husband by following the slack-jawed expressions of the gawking Indianapolis faithful. “I turn the corner into the men’s section, and there’s Peyton, dressed in this Ed Hardy t-shirt and a pair of distressed Levi’s ‘Skinny’ jeans,” Ashley Manning said. “I was horrified. But not as horrified as when I realized that he’d actually bought them.”

According to Peyton Manning, he had just walked into the section and informed the sales people that he was browsing. “But we got to talking, you know, and I was sort of saying how I’m kind of jealous that Tom Brady gets so much attention for being a heart-throb, and all. And so they were sort of saying that maybe it’s my image, that I’m a little too buttoned-up. So we made some changes.”

The t-shirt that Manning purchased is an off-white color, with a large off-centered green and red dragon like figure expanding across the upper right side, breathing fire, with the stylish name Ed Hardy scripted across the shirt.

“It looks absolutely ridiculous on him,” said Ashley Manning. “God love him, Peyton is a wonderful guy, and he can be a sharp dresser, but he does not need to be wearing Ed Hardy. He just doesn’t.”

At a cost of $34, it is by a factor of three the most expensive t-shirt that Peyton has ever purchased.

“Yeah, it’s pretty expensive for a t-shirt,” Manning said. “Normally I get three t-shirts every time a buy a package. But normally they don’t have fire-breathing dragons on them, either, do they?”