Romo’s new contract requires him to sleep with Wade Phillips’ wife

DALLAS, TX — The Dallas Cowboys agreed to a $67.5 million, six-year contract extension with quarterback Tony Romo this week. While the amount Romo stands to earn raised eyebrows around the league, it paled in comparison to the stipulation in the contract that Romo must sleep with head coach Wade Phillips’ wife a minimum of two times each year. Since finding success in Dallas, Romo has been romantically linked to such starlets as Carrie Underwood, Brittany Spears, and One Tree Hill actress Sophia Bush. When asked for comment, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was adamant about the clause. “If Tony wants to be paid like an All Pro, he’s gonna have to make some sacrifices. Wade’s wife is a really nice lady and has liked Tony since she got here. I don’t see what the big deal is.” While neither Romo nor Wade Phillips were inclined to speak about the situation, Laurie Phillips couldn’t contain her excitement. “I cannot wait to get my hands on Tony! Meow!!! I’ve heard how great he is in the sack. You know there’s a position called the Romo, don’tcha?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!