Subscribe To Our Site!

Hot Topics:

Main Menu

Home

About

Features

Submit

Facebook

MySpace

Friends

NSR

Contact

Mad-Libs

Archives

Gallery

Sponsors

Advertise

Subscribe

Jobs

SCNN

Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
12 major suppliers
major mega $$$ choices
... Sports Ticket Depot

TOUTHOUSE.COM
MLB Betting Predictions, Free MLB Picks and Current Baseball Odds

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.


Occultist worried third Boston World Series could wake the Babe

  • Digg
  • Google
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Technorati
  • Furl
  • YahooMyWeb
  • Fark

BRONX, NY — Arnold Pencarne, an occult/memorabilia expert from the Bronx area, claims that if the Red Sox break the Curse of the Bambino a third time, it could result in the rise from the grave of the late, great Babe Ruth.

The Curse refers to the Boston Red Sox’s inability to win a World Series, beginning with their trade of Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees in 1919; meanwhile, the Yankees won 26 World Series. The Sox managed to break the curse originally in ‘04, and then won the series again in the most recent Series against the Rockies. This is a cause for concern, said Pencarne.

“This is a disgrace, an abomination – don’t they know what’s at stake? The Red sox can’t win another series, they can’t, or the Bambino will return to destroy us all,” said Pencarne in an interview conducted at his Voodoo/Trading Card store, “Voodoo for You, Too.”

According to Pencarne, a Yankee fan, the Curse kept the disgraced spirit of the Babe out of our world, but modern baseball realities have put that tenuous arrangement in jeopardy. “Look, every team is supposed to have its place in the sport, and Boston was always the cursed but lovable underdog that fails when it matters most. What was wrong with that? Everyone loves a cute loser. But no, they had to go and spend millions on free agents, and run the organization properly, and now doom is upon us! A salary cap and league parity could have saved us, but now it’s too late. Too late.”

Pencarne has been an expert sports occultist for over fifteen years, and has performed Voodoo on professional athletes using their trading cards as effigies. However, he would not divulge the name of any player affected by his efforts.

“Basketball, football, hockey, all the outcomes have been influenced by what happens here behind my counter on top of the unsold NHL trading card boxes. Using deflated balls and donkey spit, I have even managed to keep the soccer menace out of America,” Pencarne insisted. “But this is the biggest challenge yet, and some little pins on David Ortiz’s deluxe trading card will not stop it – the Babe is coming back.”

A possible return of the Bambino would change the world as we know it, Pencarne claims. “If the Babe comes back, it is only to fulfill his greatest wish, the one thing that keeps his spirit tied to this world, and that is to manage the New York Yankees. A zombie manager would surely set the Yankees’ prospects back for years, and the world needs its Yankees to have high hopes. A dark age is about to set, my many friends and confidants.” [Ed. Note: This comment was particularly bizarre, given that this article's scribe was the only (living) person in the room with Mr. Pencarne at the time.]

Pencarne refused to comment on what the spirit might have in store for newly appointed Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, offering only sobs and a wide-eyed look of incredible fear.

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted on November 7th, 2007

Subscribe To Our Site!

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our MySpace and/or Facebook pages!


Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Search Our Site

  

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Enter your Email


Check Out These Classics

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer


It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Get the Flash Player to see the slideshow.

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

Featured News

News In Brief

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Serious Online Sports Betting at BetUS - America's favorite Sportsbook. Bet on any sport - football, tennis, UFC, golf or basketball.