New BCS Rankings out, confusion at the top

SOUTH BEND, IN — The latest BCS rankings have come out, and while things are predictable at the top in terms of the teams, anything goes as far as predicting who will make it to the BCS championship game.

Presently LSU and Oregon hold the top two spots, but Kansas, Oklahoma, and Missouri are about to begin a furious four-week stretch to decide the Big XII champion and the entrant for the big game. Further muddying the waters is Hawaii, with an undefeated record, and Ohio State and West Virginia, with just one loss apiece.

In order to find a good solution, the BCS has announced that it will be holding a single-elimination basketball tournament to decide the participants in the National Championship game.

“We decided to just scrap the whole ‘math’ deal and go with a good ole-fashioned basketball tournament,” said Ron Zellwig, BCS organizer. “After all, everyone loves basketball tournaments, right?”

The plan for the tournament is simple. The top seven teams in the BCS standings will each get a bid into the tournament. The eighth slot will be determined in a play-in game between Hawaii and Notre Dame.

“We realize that Notre Dame hasn’t had the greatest season this year,” said Zellwig, referring to the Irish’s one-win season. “There is a chance that they could be the 26^th best team in the nation, though… After all, the BCS rankings only go to 25.”

It is not clear whether the teams will actually be allowed to use their real basketball players – which would give a huge advantage to basketball-first schools like Kansas and Oregon – or if they will be forced to use their football players. In one alarming instance, there is talk that the teams will actually use their alumni to play the game, with players like Don Johnson leading Kansas and James “The Ragin’ Cajun” Carville leading LSU.

“Overall, we just decided that the whole math-based system is not making anyone happy,” Zellwig said. “So we’re going to settle this on the field— er, the court.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!