[CONTINUED] Kobe agrees to Bulls trade only if he gets to be renamed “Michael Jordan”

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“I’m thrilled to be back with the Bulls, going for my tenth title,” said Michael Jordan, in a press conference held recently. “I see Luol Deng as being a very similar presence to what we had with Scottie Pippen, and I see Ben Wallace as being a sort of 21st century Dennis Rodman,

without the wedding dresses. So overall I really like our chances.”

Lakers head coach Phil Jackson was sad to part ways with Michael Jordan again. “I mean, we won nine titles together – three different three-peats,” Jackson said. “So it’s tough. I wish Michael the best of luck in his return to the Bulls. I think the Eastern Conference is looking better and better with the addition of Michael Jordan.”

Chicago resident John O’Shaugnessy was thrilled about the trade. “Look, I was here when Michael was with the Bulls the first two times, so I know just what a tremendous impact he’s going to have on the Bulls,” he said.

“And I couldn’t be happier. Michael is a pillar of this community, and we wish him well as he goes for his 13th scoring title, his tenth NBA finals trophy, and his sixth MVP award. He is truly a treasure of Chicago, and the city welcomes him back.”

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It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!