Hoping to boost Jazz attendance, Boozer takes two more wives

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — In a surprising marketing move designed to increase attendance, Utah Jazz star forward Carlos Boozer married two additional wives this week.

“We talked to Carlos about the plan and he was all for it,” Jazz General Manager Kevin O’Connor told SSNN.

While polygamy is technically outlawed in the state of Utah, it still exists and is rarely prosecuted by authorities.

“This is an untapped fan base in Salt Lake City,” said Jazz Marketing Director Jay Francis. “With Booze’ taking on two more wives, we’re really opening ourselves up to a realm of possibilities. Polygamous families have already started snatching up season tickets so they can see Carlos. Imagine entire sections filled with just four or five families.”

On Thursday, Boozer – a five-year veteran from Duke University – married Marla Jones and Kate Moore in a quiet ceremony attended by friends, family and Boozer’s first wife, Cindy. Boozer’s agent, Rob Pelinka, is not surprised Boozer would go the extra mile for the Jazz – “This is just another example of the lengths Carlos will go to support the Jazz and the city of Salt Lake.”

Boozer himself is elated with the new arrangement. “If you told me a few years ago that I’d marry two more women, I would have called you crazy,” he said. “But the Jazz are giving me a nice cut of the ticket sales for this. I’ve always been a team player.”

Reports indicate that the three women will rotate traveling with Boozer on road trips during the upcoming season.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!