Heat accept Riley’s offer to suit up

MIAMI, FL –- Following Miami’s embarrassing loss to Seattle on Wednesday, the Heat have decided to take head coach Pat Riley up on his offer to play.

“People forget that Pat was a damn good player back in the day,” Heat owner Mickey Arison told reporters. “We’re struggling with injuries right now, so if Pat says he can play, I’m all for it.”

Riley surprised Miami fans earlier this week when he said, “I guarantee it. I swear to God. With an old hip and 62 years old and I can’t see, I’ll play better than some of my guys.”

While many chalked up Riley’s comments to frustration, the famed coach stood by his words Friday, and is expected to suit up against the Boston Celtics at the Fleet Center.

“Have you seen our team play? I averaged 11 points a game back in ‘74,” Riley reminded media members at a Friday press conference. “If Penny can make a comeback, I can too.”

The Heat have struggled since winning the NBA championship two years ago, and are hoping Riley can provide a spark off the bench.

“Coach Riley is a high-energy guy,” Shaquille O’Neal told SSNN. I’m not going to put too much effort into my game until the playoffs, so hopefully Coach and D-Wade can get us there.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!