Fox Sports urges Landon Donovan to “go the extra mile”

LOS ANGELES, CA — In correlation with the U.S. Government’s recent sanctions against Iran, Fox Sports is urging American soccer star, Landon Donovan, to destroy all Iranian soccer facilities.

“It’s imperative that we let the Iranian national soccer team know that we won’t stand idly by as they build themselves into a superpower. If Landon Donovan is half the American we think he is, he’ll realize he has to eliminate the Iranian soccer training facilities immediately,” Fox Sports Anchor Chris Rose said. “In times of war, it’s important that our athletes are willing to go the extra mile for their country.”

While the United States soccer team has underachieved recently, it is rumored that the Iranian squad is stockpiling dominant forwards and suffocating goalies in hopes of turning themselves into a world power.

“If the U.S. has any shot of containing Iran’s rise, we won’t think twice about destroying the Iranian soccer camps. Personally, I don’t think Donovan is enough and I believe that DeMarcus Beasley should act as well,” Fox Sports Analyst, James Brown said on Sunday.

Critics point to Iran’s #38 FIFA ranking as evidence they are nowhere near the danger the U.S. is making them out to be. Nonetheless, Fox Sports continues to encourage the American soccer program to act swiftly.