Federer wins Swiss tourney using only his hand

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND — Roger Federer successfully defended his Davidoff Swiss Indoors title by defeating Jarkko Nieminem of Finland on Sunday.

Federer’s recent victory will surely go down in tennis lore after the legendary Swede broke his racket in between the first and second set and played the rest of the match using only his right hand.

“I thought I had him when he pulled that little stunt,” said runner up Nieminem. “But the guy isn’t human. He was hitting 120 MPH serves with the freaking palm of his hand. Unbelievable!”

Federer thought about using many different rackets and several other implements, including a pool cue, a platic rake from a child’s beach set, and the umpire’s seat cusion, before deciding to use his right palm shortly after the first set. Fans stood in awe as the twelve-time Grand Slam champion executed several of his trademark shots including the forehand into the corner as well as the backhand cross-court flick.

“I don’t always use rackets when I train so it really wasn’t that big of a deal,” Federer told SSNN. “Jarkko played a great match. I felt good though and my hand was able to place the shots where I wanted them.”

“I mean, it was impressive,” said Rafael Nadal, who watched the match on television. “But he did use his right hand. So let’s not get carried away.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!