Carr expected to move as far from Tressel as possible

ANN ARBOR, MI — Sources close to Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr told SSNN that Carr has yet to determine where he will relocate to after Michigan’s bowl game – his last as the head coach for the Maize and Blue.

It is very clear, however, that Carr intends to move as far away from Jim Tressel as possible.

“Lloyd just wants a fresh start,” said Carr confidante and friend Jack Carter. “He just wants to get the hell away from Tressel. Everything was perfect until he came around. Lloyd was winning national championships, kicking the crap out of the Buckeyes… Life was good. Then it all just disappeared when that sweater-vest-wearing Parcells wannabe showed up.”

After replacing the legendary Bo Schembechler, Carr’s highlights included leading the Wolverines to a share of the 1997 national title. Carr appeared to be the perfect coach for Michigan until Jim Tressel was hired as the head coach of rival Ohio State. Carr’s record against Tressel is a paltry 1-6.

“At the beginning, it looked like Tressel was just another John Cooper” Carter told SSNN. “Then he got the ball rolling at OSU and it was all downhill for Lloyd from there. He just never recovered.”

“He’s looking at Alaska and places near the Texas-Mexico border right now,” SSNN was told by a source speaking on condition of anonymity. “Distance is the most important factor.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!