Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

Braves offseason goals: sign Glavine, discover Fountain of Youth

ATLANTA, GA — Earlier this week, Atlanta resigned former Brave and likely future Hall-of-Famer Tom Glavine. Saturday morning, the Braves released a statement to the media, saying that the organization has also begun a mission to discover the legendary Fountain of Youth.

“It’s the least we could do for Tom,” manager Bobby Cox told SSNN. “We want to help him get back to his glory days in Atlanta – we’re not paying good money for some mediocre Met. It’s all for the good of the club.”

Glavine was a member of the Braves for over fifteen years before leaving for New York. His time with the Mets pales in comparison to his Braves career – in five seasons he twice posted losing records (something he never did in Atlanta) and was consistently over his career average in ERA (3.51) – but management has reason to believe that an age reduction would assist Glavine in returning to form.

The infamous Fountain of Youth was the object of many search missions between the 15^th and 18^th centuries. Long believed to be in the state of Florida, Braves officials are certain that Atlanta’s proximity to the sunshine state gives them a leg up on other ball clubs.

“We’re just a short plane ride from Miami,” Braves GM Frank Wren said. “Discovering the Fountain of Youth could be the answer to all our prayers. The possibilities are endless.”

By discovering the Fountain, the Braves hope to breathe life into not only Glavine, but also an organization that has underachieved lately after winning fourteen consecutive division titles. So far there has been no progress, but club representatives are scheduled to meet with Julio Franco – widely suspected to have some knowledge of the location of the Fountain – later this week.

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: Atlanta Braves, Bobby Cox, Fountain of Youth, Julio Franco, MLB, New York Mets, Tom Glavine

Posted on November 24th, 2007

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

• Martinez, Hampton to be euthanized after latest injuries (April 8, 2008)
• Francouer’s arrival to AA Mississippi delayed for two days by holiday beach traffic (July 6, 2008)
• McCovey Cove actually Fountain of Youth (March 10, 2007)
• Piniella furious about Cubs’ blowup (June 2, 2007)

Link To This Post

<a target="_blank" href="http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2007/11/braves-offseason-goals-sign-glavine-discover-fountain-of-youth.html" title="Braves offseason goals: sign Glavine, discover Fountain of Youth">Braves offseason goals: sign Glavine, discover Fountain of Youth</a>

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Leave A Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Search Our Site

  

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Enter your Email

Check Out These Classics

• Mitchell Report to be released Thursday; Canseco totally calm
• Sonics fans form human wall around city to prevent team’s move to Oklahoma City
• Huggins had Duke in office pool, has mixed feelings about surprise win
• Zito taking aim at single-season loss record
• Rodgers offers to not play for only $15 million

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

Featured News

• Thomas absolutely wrecking Edwards in WordTwist on Facebook
• Todd Jones cries and hugs men; teammates say it was “really gay”
• Sports reporter writes column blasting himself after referring to himself in third person
• Probation for Busch, Edwards finally gives NASCAR fans some excitement
• MLB mandates all players must speak Spanish
• Older Featured News...

News In Brief

• Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team
• Beijing anti-smog plan calls for giant oil-burning torch
• Nation mourns life of Tim McCarver
• Dodgers to play two outfielders
• Pirates sign Lyndon Larouche in effort to have all Laroches and LaRouches on team
• Older News In Brief...

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Serious Online Sports Betting at BetUS - America's favorite Sportsbook. Bet on any sport - football, tennis, UFC, golf or basketball.

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!