Tyson on prison experience: “It was good to come home again”

PHOENIX, AZ — Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson completed a one-day prison sentence in Phoenix last week stemming from a felony cocaine possession. Guards at the infamous “Tent City” prison told reporters that Tyson spent much of his sentence eating sloppy joes and reading the mobster epic, American Gangster. “I love prison,” Tyson said with his endearing lisp. “My people are here. It was good to come home again and catch up with old friends.” While Tyson was able to interact with inmates for about two of the 24 hours, the former boxing great spent most of his time in a secluded portion of the prison. Prisoners were thrilled to meet Tyson, and wished he could have stayed longer. “We got a boxing tournament next week,” inmate Seth Tevlin told SSNN. “Can you imagine how frickin’ cool that would be? I’d make a killing betting on Iron Mike.” Since retiring from boxing in 2005, Tyson has struggled to stay out of trouble. His arrest for cocaine possession was just one more black mark on the infamous pugilist’s rap sheet. “I’m gonna stay out of trouble this time,” Tyson pledged upon his release. “For real – I’m gonna fade into Bolivian like I said before. This is the last time you’ll hear from me.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!