Vatican to investigate Colorado Rockies miracle

ROME, ITALY — The Vatican announced Tuesday that it will send representatives from the Catholic Church to investigate the possible miracle of the Colorado Rockies. The Catholic church began anointing sports-related miracles following Franco Harris’ legendary Immaculate Reception. Church hierarchy initially started keeping tabs on the Rockies when they climbed out of a 4½-game hole in the wild card race in only nine games. “It is premature to comment on the nature of the investigation at this time,” said Cardinal Fernando Del Ville of Rome. “But we haven’t seen anything like this since the Bills came back on the Oilers in ‘93.” The Rockies have repeatedly overcome what appeared to be insurmountable deficits throughout the regular season and playoffs, and are now on a roll (23 wins in 24 games) that is nothing short of miraculous by today’s MLB standards. Rockies Manager Clint Hurdle attributed his team’s stunning change of luck to hard work, but would not rule out a miracle. “At first I thought the streak had a lot to do with Todd Helton’s superstition of wearing female underwear before games; but as it’s gone on, there’s just no explanation for this kind of run.” The Vatican will continue to monitor the Rockies in their upcoming World Series matchup with Boston. Should Colorado defeat their favored American League counterparts, it’s not a stretch to expect that Coors Field will be aptly renamed “Campo del Milagro Cerveza Coors.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!